Atheism

Fun things to do in Church

Pull aside an unruly child in a preschool Sunday School class and say: "If you're bad in here, you'll go to Hell".

Going through all the hymnals, mark song 666.

Hide copies of Hustler inside the pulpit. Point them out.

Start a wave.

Make up your own words to the songs.

Dress all in black. Or in camo.

At a church dinner, scoop up a forkful of mashed potatoes. Announce that you can see an image of Jesus.

Mark places in the Bible or hymnal with religious-themed Far Side cartoons.

Turn in the Bible to the Ten Commandments (Exodus 20:3-17). Draw in asterisks and write exceptions at the bottom of the page.

During the service, play with plastic dinosaurs. If someone asks what you're doing, tell them: "These are dinosaurs. They ruled the Earth over 65 million years ago".

Snicker every time the preacher talks about someone being stoned.

Dip communion wafers in communion wine. Eat it and exaggerate on how good it is.

Fake a possession.

Distribute condoms.

Write on the bathroom wall: "The eyes of the LORD are upon you!"

Keywords: Atheism, skeptic, critical thinking, secular humanism, agnostic

This website is licensed under an attribution-noncommercial 2.5 creative commons license and is © 2005-2007 Auke Slotegraaf.

Words of wisdom: "How often have not the demons called Nix, drawn women and girls into the water, and there had commerce with them, with fearful consequences." – Martin Luther, German leader of the Protestant Revolution.